Never Grow Up
by MusicKeeper
Summary: In other words, five times Han and Leia didn't want their son to grow up and the one time he did.
1. The First Time We Met You

**'ello, peoples of the earth!**

 **The funny thing is, this isn't my first fanfic set in the Star Wars galaxy, but it _is_ my first fanfic set during the actual movies instead of _The Clone Wars_. So most of you might not have seen me before. **

**Anyway.**

 **I'm actually a student at a community college (which starts back up again in a week), so I have no idea how often I'll be able to update. This is not supposed to be a long story, but I'm not known for consistent updates. *wince***

 **On that note, read on! Hope y'all enjoy!**

* * *

 _The First Time We Met You_

"Han, you have _got_ to calm down. You're starting to make me sick."

Han stopped pacing, but only so he could yell at Luke. "Oh, _you're_ sick?" he said smartly, gesturing and pointing toward the doors between him and the delivery room. " _My wife_ is in there, alone, giving birth, and _you're_ sick?"

Chewbacca let out a nervous howl. Luke, however, stayed annoyingly, stoically calm. "I think you forget, Han, that your wife is also my sister," he reminded Han firmly. "I'm worried about her, too."

This didn't help Han's mood, because Luke certainly didn't _look_ worried.

Until a scream came from behind the doors.

Chewbacca roared anxiously. Han started pacing again. Luke gripped the arms of his chair so tight his knuckles turned white.

When the nurse appeared from behind the doors, Luke and Chewbacca immediately sprang up from their chairs, and Han raced into action, sprinting across the room toward the nurse. "How is she? Is she alright? Is the baby okay? Do they need me?"

The nurse laughed at the worried expressions worn by all three males. "Relax, all of you. General Solo? The princess is very tired at the moment, so I'm going to ask that you stay quiet, but –"

Han resisted the urge to shake the nurse. "Enough with the chit-chat; has the baby arrived?"

The nurse smiled. "Yes, sir. You have a son."

* * *

Han Solo was not an emotional man.

However, at this moment, he was "more emotional than a woman on her wedding day," as Leia put it jokingly.

But while she was joking, there were tears in her eyes, too, for in her arms she held a baby.

 _Their_ baby.

Han had thought the wind had been knocked out of him when Leia first told him she was pregnant. He'd thought he'd never take a deep breath again when Leia placed his hand on her swollen middle and he'd felt a small, fluttering kick under his fingers.

But now that he was actually seeing the baby in his wife's arms, Han felt as though he was about to have a heart attack.

"Easy there, hotshot," the aforementioned mother of his son softly admonished him, placing a gentle hand on his arm. "You're starting to hyperventilate."

Han shook his head and tried to take long, slow breaths. "It's just … _he's_ just …" He stared at the baby in Leia's arms, unable to finish.

Leia's eyebrows went up. "Han Solo, at a loss for words? Now that truly is a miracle."

Han playfully glared at his wife, who smirked in reply before turning back to their son. "He's gorgeous, isn't he?"

Han thought so. The baby had a full head of dark hair and a tendency to stick out his tongue. He had ten tiny fingers that kept grabbing at Leia's loose hair and ten tiny toes that wiggled out from under his blanket every few moments. He had his father's long nose and his mother's cheekbones.

Han thought their son was perfect. "Thought up any names yet, sweetheart?"

Leia nodded. "I was thinking Ben."

"Ben, huh? Luke would like that." Han reached to touch the baby's smooth cheek, willing himself to hold back his tears.

"I know. But it fits, don't you think?"

Han tried out the name. "Ben Solo." This time, he couldn't stop the tears from falling or his voice from breaking as he stared at their tiny, perfect baby boy. "Yeah. Ben. I like it."

"Then Ben it is."

* * *

"So this is my nephew."

"Yeah." Now, instead of crying, Han couldn't keep himself from beaming proudly as he watched Luke Skywalker, famed Jedi Knight, fall under little Ben's spell.

"He's so handsome."

"Well, yeah. What else do you expect from my son?"

"HAN!" Leia swatted her husband's arm.

"Shh." Han put a finger to his lips. "You're gonna wake him up."

"Stop it."

Han just smirked before turning to his brother-in-law. "Alright, Luke, I think that's enough. I'll just take him back now…"

"But I've only gotten to hold him for a few seconds!" Luke instinctively held Ben a little tighter.

Leia spoke up. "Sorry, Luke. The nurse is going to be coming back any minute, and I don't think it's going to matter what rank in the Rebellion I hold if she catches you back here. Best to let Chewie hold him for a minute."

Reluctantly, Luke gently handed Ben back to his father, who in turn carried the sleeping baby to Chewbacca. "Here, Chewie. Be careful."

Very carefully, Chewbacca cradled the baby the way Han showed him. Han watched as his furry copilot stared down at Ben, his big brown eyes getting even bigger. A happy growl arose from Chewbacca's throat.

"He is something, isn't he?" Han said. He put a hand on Chewbacca's shoulder.

Luke approached to stand on Chewbacca's other side, still spellbound by the dark-haired baby. "Can I _please_ hold him again, Han?"

Leia sensed the approaching presence before anyone heard the footsteps. "Another time, Luke. Chewie, hand me Ben. You and Luke need to get out of here."

"Kriff," Luke cursed. Chewbacca hurriedly placed Ben in Leia's waiting arms. Han peeked outside the door to make sure the coast was clear before letting the Wookiee and the Jedi hurry out.

When the nurse returned, everything in the room was just as it should be. The princess and the smuggler were still awestruck by their newborn son, just as all new parents are awed by their children. However, as much as the nurse hated to disturb the new family, there were still two incredibly anxious visitors waiting outside. "Is he still asleep?" she asked.

It was Han who answered. "Yes, he is."

"Good." The nurse smiled. "You two have a couple visitors outside. Perhaps now might be a good time to let them in?"

Both parents stared at her for a moment, then at each other. The nurse watched them both for a moment, waiting for an answer.

It was Leia who broke the silence. "You have _got_ to be kidding."

* * *

 **Well. That's that.**

 **If you liked it, hated it, or wanted to light it up and watch it burn, review and let me know! See you next time, peoples!**


	2. The First Time You Interrupted A Meeting

**'ello, peoples of the earth!**

 **So, I'd expected to have this up yesterday, but stuff happened, and by stuff, I mean I got sick. I'll leave out the gory details for you. Ugh.**

 **But now, I have returned and brought a new chapter with me! Hope y'all enjoy!**

* * *

 _The First Time You Interrupted A Meeting_

"I'm just worried about him, Han. I thought he would be able to walk by himself by now."

Han slung an arm around Leia and rubbed her shoulder affectionately. "He'll be fine, sweetheart. He's just a little slower than most, that's all."

The object of discussion was blissfully unaware that his parents were talking about him. Ben babbled gleefully as he played with a small ball on the floor. He pushed too hard, and the ball rolled away and hit the wall. In his haste to get to the toy, little Ben crawled too fast and fell.

Leia moved to help Ben up, but he recovered and continued crawling after the ball.

"Hey." Han turned Leia around to face him. "He's been doing well in practice. Just give him a little more time."

Leia exhaled. "I suppose you're right."

Han smirked. "When am I not?"

Leia snorted and turned away to grab her jacket. "When are you ever? And don't say the Death Star."

"Wasn't going to."

Ben pushed himself up and watched his mother curiously as she moved about the living area, gathering some last-minute items for her meeting. The ball sat, ignored, in the middle of the floor.

When Leia had finished, she turned to Han. "Come and get me, or send somebody, if he starts walking on his own. I want to see as many of his first steps as I can."

"What about the meeting?"

Leia threaded a hand through Han's already graying hair and pulled him down so she could peck him on the lips. "Don't be silly," she said. "My son is more important than any meeting."

Han grinned and returned her kiss with a peck on her cheek. "Hope all goes well."

"So do I." Leia left Han's side and approached Ben, who still watched his parents from the floor. Kneeling, she picked him up and hugged him. "Be a good boy for your father, alright?"

Ben didn't answer. Instead, he poked his tongue out.

Leia shook her head at her son's silly habit as she put him down. "I'll be back soon." With that, she stood and headed toward the door to the family's quarters. There she pressed the button to open the door and was gone.

Han watched her leave with a small smile on his face. He would never admit it, but he hated watching her leave for a meeting as much as he knew she hated watching him leave to go on a supply run. "Your mother's something, isn't she?" he said to Ben, now crawling toward the couch.

Ben just squealed.

"All right, all right. Don't start making a racket." Han pulled Ben to his feet, holding tightly to his small hands. "Come on. Let's see if we can get you walking by the time your mother gets back."

Ben babbled in baby talk as Han gently nudged him forward. Slowly but surely, Ben put one foot forward, then the next. "Ba, ba, ba," he squealed.

"Would you stop that?"

A ping sounded at the door, announcing a visitor to the apartment. Han glanced over his shoulder at the door. "It's unlocked!"

The door hissed open to reveal Luke, who, with his tousled golden hair and rumpled clothes, looked in need of some serious cleaning up. Leia would've scolded her brother. Han just grinned. "Hey, kid," he said. "Back already?"

"Obviously."

Han gently set Ben on the floor before heading to greet Luke properly. "How was Corus — ow!" He slipped and fell over the ball Ben had been playing with earlier. Falling flat on his back, he narrowly missed bashing his head on the steel floor, too.

Luke was at his side in seconds. "Han?"

Han groaned in response. "I'm gonna have a bruise there later," he grimaced, rubbing his hand over his backside.

"Take it easy for a second and make sure you're not going to have a bruise anywhere else," Luke advised, ever the rational one.

"Ba, ba, ba!"

Both men's heads whipped around just in time to watch a smiling Ben toddle through the open door. Han could only stare in shock before reality hit him: the reality that Leia would kill him if he lost Ben. "Second's up!" he said, pushing himself to his feet. "After him!"

Han tore out of the apartment, Luke right on his heels. "You didn't tell me he was walking now!" the younger man shouted as they sprinted down the corridor, keeping their eyes peeled for the dark-haired toddler.

"Because he wasn't!" Han yelled back.

Eventually the men came to a split at the end of the corridor. Han checked both sides for any sign of Ben. Having no luck, he facepalmed. "I'm a dead man, Luke."

"Wait."

"What!?"

"Shh. Listen."

Han listened. Nothing. "I don't hear any—"

"Ba, ba, ba!"

 _Now_ he heard it. Han pointed to the right. "That way!"

After a moment, Han saw the boy. Ben gleefully toddled down the hall, perfectly confident in his new walking abilities. Han put a finger to his lips, signaling Luke to be silent, then crept toward Ben, carefully so as not to scare him. When he was within touching distance, he knelt next to Ben who had decided to stop and put his fingers in his mouth. Who knew what germs he might've picked up from running around the base? "Gotcha!"

Just as Han lunged, Ben took off again. Han pounded his knee as he got up and took off after his son, cursing in Corellian. He and Luke followed Ben directly into a brightly lit room, where the toddler screams drowned out the quiet voices of—

 _Oh no._

Han found himself face to face with half the Council, including Mon Mothma, Admiral Ackbar, and Leia. However, instead of him, they were all focused on little Ben as he ran up to his mother. "Ba, ba, ba!" he squealed, pleased with himself. He lifted his arms.

Leia granted Ben's silent request and kissed his cheek. When she looked up, her eyes widened when she saw Luke and Han, who sheepishly rubbed his neck. "Surprise," he said, hoping to talk his way out of trouble.

Leia turned to her fellow Council members. "If you would…"

Mon interrupted with a wave of her hand. "This meeting is adjourned," she said, shutting off the hologram display. "My congratulations to your son, Leia."

"Thank you." Quickly Leia approached Han, grabbed his arm with her free hand, and walked him and Luke out of the meeting room. Outside, in the corridor, she knelt to the floor and embraced her son.

Han knelt beside her. "Can you stop worrying about him now?"

Leia turned to stare. Han didn't see the tackle-hug coming, but it came, and he found himself on the floor for the second time that day.

But this situation, he mused as he slid a hand up and down Leia's back, was one in which he didn't mind being on the floor.

Luke cleared his throat. "Han…"

"Not now, kid."

Luke tried again. "Leia…"

"In a minute, Luke."

"Ben's running away again."

The couple on the floor immediately sat up, and true to Luke's word, Ben was halfway down the hall. Leia shook her head as she smoothed her skirts and took off after him. Han and Luke were right behind her.

The chase was on.

Again.

* * *

 **So now I have this headcanon that Ben Solo liked to stick his tongue out a lot when he was little. Can't you tell?**

 **If you liked it, hated it, or wanted to light it up and watch it burn, review and let me know! See y'all next time, and may the Force be with you always!**


	3. The First Time You Saw the Stars

**'ello, peoples of the earth!**

 **So, I guess I am being relatively consistent this time around. This makes me very happy, and I hope it makes you guys happy, too! I appreciate all the reviews, follows, and favorites you have bestowed on this story - they make me so happy! I smile every time I get an alert from FF, so thanks for giving me lots of reasons to smile.**

 **Anyway. Third chapter. Hope y'all enjoy!**

* * *

 _The First Time You Saw the Stars_

"Well, would you look at that? The kid's growing up to be a real captain, just like his old man."

"Let's just hope he doesn't decide to become a _smuggler_ like his old man," Leia replied. However, she couldn't resist picking up the holocam. "Ben, smile!"

The birthday boy grinned widely at his mother, the pilot's cap threatening to fall right off his head. Han knew, even without looking, that little Ben's bright, dark eyes would not show up in the holo his mother had just taken.

Han picked up Ben and set the would-be pilot on his knee. "But that's not the real present," he said, pulling a small slip of paper from his vest pocket and handing it to Ben. "Ask your mama to read that for you."

Ben handed Leia the paper. When she cocked an eyebrow, he playfully sighed. " _Please,_ Mama?"

"Since you used your nice manners," Leia replied, smiling gently at her son before looking down at the paper. "This entitles Ben Solo to one ride in the cockpit of the _Millennium Falcon_ , courtesy of his father, the brilliant, wonderful – Han, I am not reading this." Leia dropped her hands in her lap and tilted her head, lips pressed together in irritation.

Han's grin was unapologetic. "You get the point, Ben," he said, putting Ben down on the ground and leaning forward to gauge his son's reaction.

Ben was ecstatic. "I can fly!" he proclaimed, throwing the cap up in the air. It landed with a thud on the back of Leia's chair. "Can I fly, Daddy? Can I fly the _Falcon_?"

Han was at a loss at how to respond to the boy, who stared up at him with excitement sparkling in his dark eyes. Eventually, he stuttered, "We'll see, Ben … we'll see."

Ben made up for Han's loss for words with babble about ships and flying and how he was going to be the greatest pilot the galaxy had ever seen. Leia looked on, amused at how much like his father Ben sounded. Han shook his head and got up from his chair to collect the wrapping paper that littered the floor.

* * *

That afternoon, an already graying middle-aged man and a hyperactive three-year-old approached the entrance to the hangar in which the _Falcon_ was kept. Chewbacca met them there, much to Ben's simultaneous delight and displeasure. "I thought I was gonna be copilot," he pouted.

Chewbacca growled inquisitively. Han responded with a shake of his head and turned to his son. "What do you say we go inside, Ben?"

Ben pretended to ponder this for a moment. Then his face lit up with a bright grin. "Yeah!"

Han and Chewbacca let Ben run up the ramp into the Corellian freighter before they themselves boarded. "Tell me you didn't activate the controls yet, Chewie," Han whispered to Chewbacca. Luckily, the Wookiee growled back with a negative response, much to Han's relief. He did not want his son pressing buttons and messing with controls until he was there to monitor what Ben was doing.

When the two males reached the cockpit, Ben had already climbed into the captain's chair. "That's my seat!" Han protested, running to get Ben out of the chair. Chewbacca roared with laughter behind him.

Han was eventually able to drag Ben out of the chair with promises that he would get to sit there again once they were in hyperspace. However, the toddler was not happy when Han tried to strap him in. He protested quite loudly, much to Han's dismay.

At last, Han got Ben to settle down. "Just for a few minutes, Ben," he promised before sliding back into the captain's chair and pulling on the strap. "Look," Han said, turning around and showing the strap to Ben. "Daddy has to strap in, too."

Ben turned his head.

Han was insulted. "See if I ever let you in the _Falcon_ again," he muttered.

With the engines powered up and systems ready to go, Han and Chewbacca steered the ship out of the hangar and into the sky. Ben stopped pouting and focused his attention on the view. "Look, Daddy!" he cried out. "Look!"

"I see it, Ben. Nice view, eh?"

"Yeah!"

Han had to grin at Ben's enthusiasm. He could imagine the wide-eyed look on his son's face as the bright blue sky faded to dark blue and then to black as the ship climbed out of the atmosphere. "Stars, Daddy," Ben said in wonder. "Look at 'em all!"

"I know. Now watch this." With a push on the lever on his right, the _Falcon_ jumped into the blue tunnel of hyperspace, leaving the sky and stars of real space behind.

When Han turned around to see Ben, he was rewarded with his son looking a bit like a fish. His eyes were wide, and his mouth formed an "o" shape as he watched the stars fly past. Chewbacca had turned around as well, and Han heard the hearty growl leap right out of his copilot's throat as he unclipped Ben's strap. "Ben? You can get out of the seat now."

That broke the spell. "Yay!" Ben leapt out of the seat and slithered past his father into the captain's chair. Han shook his head, but he knew it was all right to let Ben sit there now – the ship had been set on autopilot, and Chewbacca was still with Ben at the controls. If nothing drastic happened, the ship would go on a loop around D'Qar until made to drop out of hyperspace.

Han tried to explain the functions of the different buttons on the control panel to Ben, but the boy was an abominable listener and refused to pay attention. He put his hands on the steering controls, laughing as he turned them, and turned them right and left. Han was insanely glad the ship was on autopilot, or he would've been bruised all shades of black and blue.

Suddenly, the _Falcon_ banked hard to the left, and Han found himself thrown against the side of the cockpit. Chewbacca howled with surprise. Ben gasped and tried turning to the right.

Nothing worked.

Chewbacca's paws flew as he pressed buttons, making every attempt to bring the ship back under control. Han tried to stand and get Ben out of the pilot's seat, but the g-force was too strong. Han was flattened against the wall. "Chewie, turn the autopilot back on!"

The answering growl was not helpful. "What do you mean, it was never turned off?"

Ben screeched as the ship banked again, this time hard to the right. His hands grabbed onto the controls for dear life.

"Get us out of hyperspace, Chewie!" Han ordered. "Hurry!"

Chewbacca obeyed the order, and the _Falcon_ fell out of the blue tunnel into real space. It was still flying on its side, but at least the g-force had lessened. Han lifted Ben out of the pilot's seat and put him back in the passenger seat. "I think that's enough flying for you," he said, sliding into the pilot's seat. It took him and Chewbacca a minute to right the ship.

"Am I in trouble, Daddy?"

Han took a breath. "No, but you know who will be if you tell your mother?" He turned to look at his son. "Me. So … let's keep this between us, okay?"

Ben nodded.

"And that goes for you, too, Chewie," Han said, glaring at the Wookiee. "Don't breathe a word of this to Leia."

The answer just frustrated Han more. "I don't _care_ if she can't understand you; don't tell her!"

At last, Chewbacca agreed not to tell Leia.

"Good. Now let's go home."

So that's what they did.

* * *

Han and Chewbacca never found out what caused the mishap with the _Falcon_ that day. If they had done a little research, they would've found that the model of that specific freighter had a feature which turned off the autopilot if enough pressure was applied to the steering controls for about thirty seconds. Alas, neither Han nor Chewbacca have the patience for research.

They were able, however, to accidentally dismantle the feature when they did some tinkering on the ship's autopilot. So such a mishap never happened again.

* * *

 **This one was partly inspired by the story of Aeroflot Flight 593. Interesting story, and quite an unusual scenario for an airplane crash - the captain actually let his kids in the cockpit. Now that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but not only did he let the kids in the cockpit, he also let them sit in the pilot's seat and play with the controls. One of them pushed the steering wheel too hard and disabled the autopilot, accidentally crashing the aircraft and killing 75 passengers and crew.**

 **So. Kids plus cockpit controls equals BAD IDEA. Let's hope Han learned his lesson.**

 **If you liked it, hated it, or wanted to light it up and watch it burn, review and let me know! See y'all next time, and may the Force be with you always!**


	4. The First Time You Held A Lightsaber

**'ello, peoples of the earth!**

 **Well, obviously I'm late. School will do that to you, I guess. I'll be on time next chapter; I promise.**

 **Good news is: I'm back! So I hope y'all enjoy this next chapter!**

* * *

 _The First Time You Held A Lightsaber_

"Can I hold the saber, Uncle Luke?"

Luke eyed six-year-old Ben warily. "Are you sure you can handle it, Ben? I think your parents would have my head if you cut your hand off."

"Don't be silly, Luke," Leia said from the couch, where she was seated next to Han. A little smirk grew on her face. "We'd have your head if Ben cut off so much as a finger."

Luke turned his gaze to Han, who shrugged at Luke's helpless expression. "Sorry, kid. Can't help you there. I don't think I'd really want to, either."

Finally accepting that he would get no help from his sister or his brother-in-law if an accident happened with the lightsaber, Luke turned his attention to his nephew, who was tugging on his arm. The movement opened Luke's cloak so the silver cylinder on his belt was exposed. "Please, Uncle Luke?" he begged. "I promise I'll be extra careful!"

"Well…" Luke was obviously uncertain, and rightfully so.

Leia quirked an eyebrow and leaned forward to dissuade her son, but Han put a hand on her shoulder and pulled her back. "Sweetheart, I'm sure everything will be fine. Luke knows what he's doing."

Leia bit her lip as she considered. Finally, she leaned back into the couch – and Han's arm. "Fine. But only for a few minutes."

Ben and Luke's faces lit up.

"And he can't turn on the blade. I'm not risking him cutting his head off."

At that, Ben deflated a little, but Luke patted the boy's shoulder. "Your mother's right to be concerned, you know. This blade can cut through anything."

Han's eyebrows raised in concern and alarm when a wild look came into Ben's eyes at that idea. He sat up, ready to intervene if he had to. "Ben, if you even _think_ about disobeying your mother—"

"I _won't_ , Dad," Ben stubbornly replied. "Uncle Luke, can I _please_ hold it now?"

Luke glanced up at Leia, who nodded to give her permission. Then he unhitched the lightsaber from his belt. "Careful," he warned as he handed the saber to Ben.

Ben took the lightsaber and held it tightly in his hand, staring at the silver cylinder with awe and wonder. Han crossed his arms over his chest as he observed his son. "Look at you," he said. "A real Jedi!"

"Maybe when he's a little older," Luke laughed. He watched as Ben waved the saber around, thankfully keeping both hands on it. Not once did the youngest member of the Solo family reach to turn on the button that would ignite the blade.

Han did not miss Leia's frown as she watched their son, and he gently stroked her hand. She looked up, and he smiled, hoping that she would smile back.

She did, but her smile didn't quite reach the corners of her eyes.

"Ow!"

Both Han and Leia jumped at the shout, concerned that Ben _had_ actually cut off a limb. However, both uncle and nephew were laughing. Ben was sprawled over Luke's knee, giggling madly. The lightsaber was on the floor, forgotten. "Bet I could take you on in a fight, Uncle Luke!" Ben cried. He reached up and grabbed the lapels of Luke's yellow flight jacket, trying to pull him down.

"Oh yeah?" Luke's hands attacked Ben's sides, prompting the young boy to screech with glee as he wriggled out from under his uncle. He jumped up and wove between two chairs; Luke chased after him.

Leia raised a dark eyebrow at the two boys. Han saw the sparkle in her eyes that said she was about to giggle – until she saw the lightsaber on the floor. Then both her eyebrows raised in alarm. "Luke, look out—!"

Luke tripped.

The blue laser shot out from the hilt. The momentum of Luke's fall pushed the saber, still ignited and humming, toward Ben, who was crouched behind the couch. Leia's eyes grew wide as Han jumped up to go and get him. "Ben, be careful!"

Han and Luke saw it at the same time.

Ben's hand was extended in front of him. Sweat beads began to form on his forehead as the effort of holding the saber in place began to take its toll on him. While Han could only stare in shock, Luke sprang forward at once. Once he had the saber hilt securely in his hand, he said quietly, "You can let go now, Ben."

Ben released his hold on the saber. By this time, Leia had gotten up to see what was going on, and Ben ran to her. "I'm sorry, Mama," he said penitently, pushing his damp hair out of his eyes. "I didn't mean to."

"I know," Leia murmured, wrapping her son in a hug. "I saw."

Luke reattached his saber to his belt. "Can I speak with you two for a moment?" he asked, glancing from Han to Leia.

"You are speaking to us," Han said, attempting to laugh off what had just happened.

Leia didn't like that; Han could see it in her set jaw as she patted Ben on the back. "Run along to your room for a minute."

For once, young Ben didn't argue. He immediately trotted off to his room, mumbling a goodbye to Luke as he went. Luke sighed as he watched his nephew go. "You know what this means, right?" he asked.

Leia bit her lip. "I didn't think it would happen so fast."

Han glanced at his wife out of the corner of his eye. "Well, I don't know what either of you are talking about," he put in, "so if someone could explain, that would be great."

"He's Force-sensitive." Leia was growing more agitated by the second, and Han could see he wasn't helping much. "I thought you knew this."

"Calm down, sweetheart." Han slung an arm around Leia's shoulders. "I did. I'm just not sure why you look so upset about it."

Leia shook her head. "I just … I wasn't expecting Ben to suddenly know how to use his powers."

"He doesn't," Luke interjected, "and he needs someone to show him how to use them. The New Jedi Order is almost completely set up. If you would like, I can take him to the new Temple when I leave for—"

"No."

Han had never seen Leia like this. He'd seen the brown fire in her eyes before, but typically it was directed at _him._ Not at Luke. _Never_ at Luke. The twins didn't fight. They were just that much in tune with each other that it didn't happen.

Han had no idea what to think.

Luke tried again. "Leia, please."

"No." Leia turned away. "You need to go."

"You can't wait forever."

"I believe," Han interrupted, "that she just asked you to leave." He prepared himself to forcibly escort Luke from the room. He'd grown close to the kid, but if Leia was upset, Han would go to the end of the galaxy and back to make her happy.

Getting Luke out of the vicinity would not be a problem.

Luckily, Luke took the hint and headed for the door. "Just think about it."

Han could hear the tears in Leia's voice as she ordered her brother to leave once more. "Go."

Luke left.

As soon as the door hissed shut behind the older twin, Han reached out and spun Leia around. "C'mere, sweetheart."

She didn't fight him as he gathered her into his arms; eventually soft sobs wrenched themselves from her throat. Han didn't ask questions. Instead, he held her tightly in his arms, occasionally stroking her hair, until her tears subsided.

Then, and only then, did Han venture to ask what was wrong. "Can I ask why you're upset now?"

Leia looked up. "I'm not ready to let him go, Han."

"Let who go?"

"Ben." Her voice was thick.

"Why would we — oh." It finally clicked. Luke had other Force-sensitive students to attend to and train. He could not stay on the base to accommodate his sister's desire to keep Ben close to her. Ben would have to leave his parents – for a very, very long time. Luke had told them a properly trained Jedi had to go through ten to twelve years of instruction.

When Han looked back down, it seemed almost as if Leia had watched the pieces slide into place. "Now you see."

"Well…" Han looked for a loophole. "We don't have to let Ben go yet. We can wait a little longer."

"Luke says we've waited long enough. He thinks if we wait any longer, then Ben will be more vulnerable to the dark side."

Han brushed a strand of hair behind Leia's ear, sending her a cocky smile. "Since when did you ever let Luke tell you what to do?"

Leia took a shaky breath. "Han, it's not like that. He's my brother."

"And that means you have to let him make decisions for you? I mean, you never let _me_ do that."

That got a laugh out of Leia. "You know what?" she said, standing up a little straighter. "You're right. Ben doesn't have to leave unless we want him to."

"Exactly." Han kissed her forehead, happy that she had read him well enough to know that he, too, did not want to send Ben into the unknown quite yet. "Better?"

"Much." Leia stepped back. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go deliver our decision to my brother."

Han grinned. By "deliver our decision," he knew she meant "tell him off." "You do that, sweetheart. Let me know if he doesn't listen."

"I will." Leia smiled at Han over her shoulder, letting him know that she would be just fine.

* * *

 **In which I try to write another cute chapter but things get really angsty really quickly. #sorry not sorry**

 **If you liked it, hated it, or wanted to light it up and watch it burn, review and let me know! May the Force be with you always, and I'll see y'all next time!**

 **Well, if you don't kill me. Cause if you kill me, there won't be a next time, unless I decide to come back and haunt you. Ehehehe.**


	5. The First Time We Let You Go

**'ello, peoples of the earth!**

 **So I've been trying to get back into the school routine, and it's not working. Especially with the snow break I had this week; that made it harder to get back into the swing of things. I'm working on it, y'all - I'm working on it. The good news is, the next and final chapter is on the way and will be posted on time.**

 **So. I hope y'all enjoy!**

* * *

 _The First Time We Let You Go_

"You know Uncle Luke's never cared what you look like, Ben."

Ben didn't look up. His hands were too busy tugging at the hem of his shirt. "I don't care, Dad. I have to show Uncle Luke that I'm ready to be a Jedi."

Han sighed. "He knows, Ben. He wouldn't be taking you to train with him if he didn't think you were ready."

"Well, then I have to keep showing him." Finally satisfied with the way his shirt hung, Ben dropped it and tugged his luggage case off his bed. "Do I have everything?"

"I think so. Are you ready to leave?"

"Yes, I am."

"Then let's go get your mother." Han put an arm around Ben's shoulders as they walked out of the room.

Leia was waiting patiently in the living area. Han noticed she seemed a little slow to stand when they entered the room, as if she was dragging her feet. Her eyes were glued to Ben's face as she straightened her dress. "Luke made contact," she reported. "He'd just entered the system when he commed me."

"Then he should be in the hangar by now." Han released Ben to sling an arm around Leia's waist. "We shouldn't keep him waiting," he continued, hoping to draw a smile out of Leia by mimicking the words she had said to him on numerous occasions when she wanted him to hurry up.

As hoped, Leia did smile. "Alright, hotshot, enough with the mockery," she said. She turned to Ben and ruffled his long hair. "Are you ready, little one?"

Ben huffed. "I've told you, Mother, I'm not a little one anymore," he said indignantly, pulling at his luggage case. "Now when are you two going to stop stalling?"

A pained expression shot across Leia's face, but with the practiced ease of the senator she was, she covered her emotions with a cool, calm exterior. "Very well, then. You may lead the way, Ben."

Obviously glad to be on his way at last, Ben hurried to the door, opened it, and shot into the corridor without checking to see the progress of his parents. Han kept his arm around Leia as they followed their son to the hangar bays of the base.

Only when they reached the open space did Ben turn around to glance at Han and Leia. "Which bay is he in?" he inquired, still clutching his luggage case.

Only one who knew Leia well would be able to detect the tremble in her voice, the crack in her walls. "Wedge told me they were keeping Bay 27 open for Uncle Luke, Ben."

Ben's only response was a quick, curt nod before he ran in the direction of Bay 27. Han wished to shout at his son for his inconsiderate manner, but Leia was under enough emotional stress as it was, and she certainly didn't need Han yelling in a public corridor. Leia preferred to keep family troubles private.

Han understood, but that didn't mean he wasn't seething.

In Bay 27, Ben had dropped his luggage case near the ship Luke had brought and was obviously pestering his uncle with questions. Han could hear the echoes of Ben's excited words under the high ceiling of the hangar.

Luke was answering as best as he could; he was kneeling beside Ben, who gestured as he spoke. He had obviously already greeted Ben with a hug, like he always did. Han wondered how well the soft-spoken Jedi would hold up with his energetic nephew always on his heels.

When Han and Leia approached, Luke said something to Ben, who promptly picked up his case and raced into the transport. Then Luke sprang forward to embrace Leia, smiling widely. Han beamed as he watched the reunion of the twins – Luke might have filled out a bit and grown out of his shyness, but Han could tell Luke wasn't going to lose his puppy-dog attitude anytime soon.

Han also noticed, with some dismay, that Luke's hair hadn't started to gray yet. How fortunate for him. "Hey, kid," he said as his brother-in-law turned to greet him. "Time's going easy on you, isn't it?"

As if Luke had read Han's thoughts, a slow, sly smirk crept onto his face. "If you're going to keep calling me kid, I'm going to start calling you 'old man,'" he teased, flinging his arms around Han in an enthusiastic hug.

Han patted Luke's back. "Good to see you too, kid. Really is."

"Are you sure you can't stay a little while?" Leia interrupted, touching Luke's shoulder as he released Han.

Luke suddenly became solemn. "Afraid not, Leia," he said. "The remnants of the Empire have been coming after the Temple lately. I can't stay away for too long."

"Why didn't you say something?" Leia asked, concern sneaking into her voice. "We could have spared some fighters – we could still send them back with you –"

Luke held up a gloved hand to stop his sister. "We're fine. We've held them off for this long, and there have been no causalities on our side."

"Is Ben safe?"

Han glanced to the ramp of the ship, wondering if Ben was going to come back down. He wouldn't be surprised if he had to drag his son out of the ship to get a goodbye out of him.

"He'll be just fine, Leia. Trust me."

Almost as if he knew they were talking about him, Ben appeared on the ramp. "Are we leaving, Uncle Luke?"

Luke's hair brushed over his eyes as he turned to glance at his nephew. "Aren't you going to come say goodbye to your parents, Ben?"

"I suppose." Ben dutifully climbed down the ramp to join the rest of them. Han exhaled, relieved. At least he wouldn't have to force a goodbye, even if Ben was only saying farewell to please his uncle.

Ben went to Leia first. Han knew his son had always harbored a soft spot for his mother; he wasn't surprised when Ben threw his arms around Leia, hiding his face in her dress. Leia knelt to give Ben a proper hug, and Han didn't miss the way his wife buried her face in their son's hair. A lump rose in his throat, and he quickly swallowed it down.

Ben stiffened when he came to say goodbye to Han. "Goodbye, Dad."

Han knelt and put his hands on Ben's shoulders. "Goodbye, son. You behave for your uncle, alright?"

"Of course. I'll make him proud."

Han didn't want to say goodbye to his son, but he did. He didn't want to watch Ben walk up that ramp hand in hand with Luke, but he did. He didn't want to let that ship take off and leave the planet, but he did.

Han didn't want to let go, but he did.

Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that he'd done something terribly, horribly wrong. "Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" he murmured.

Leia, who'd heard, shook her head. "Don't say that, Han," she reprimanded quietly. "It makes me nervous."

Han pulled Leia into his arms, where she pressed herself into him. "I miss him already," she cried quietly into his chest. He had a feeling he would find tear marks on his vest later.

"I miss him too, sweetheart. I miss him, too," he whispered, even as he swallowed the lump in his throat for the second time that day.

* * *

 **Ehehehe. We're getting close!**

 **If you liked it, hated it, or wanted to light it up and watch it burn, review and let me know! May the Force be with you always!**


	6. The First Time I Saw You As a Man

**'ello, peoples of the earth!**

 **So, at long last, I have scrounged up enough time to write this last chapter for y'all. I hope I did it justice; it was tough to write. So grab your tissues and your blankets, cause if I did my job well, y'all are gonna cry.**

 **Hope y'all enjoy!**

* * *

 _The First Time I Saw You as a Man_

"BEN!"

The masked figure halted in the middle of the bridge.

Han wet his dry lips. Now that he had made himself known, there was no going back. Kylo Ren knew who had just called him by name, and he would more than likely react unfavorably.

But Han stood his ground. His hand went to the railing to steady himself as the dark knight turned around. Red emergency lights glinted off the black mask Kylo wore. "Han Solo," he said. His voice was deep and halting, conveying no emotion. "I've been waiting for this day for a long time."

A weathered hand released the railing, and Han stepped onto the walkway. He knew he had to tread carefully. "Take off that mask," he demanded, a father's direction to his son. "You don't need it."

The artificial voice seemed to mock Han as he approached. "What do you think you'll see if I do?"

Han knew what others would have said. The face of Kylo Ren, they would reply, would have to be quite a horrendous sight to match the monster the robes and mask concealed. "The face of my son."

This reply seemed to throw Kylo off guard, though he quickly regained composure. Lifting his hands, he fingered the buttons on the side of his mask. Han watched as the helmet lifted off of Kylo's face with a click and a whoosh, and the helmet was thrown to the metal bridge with a dull _clang._

And Ben Solo stood before him once more.

Han's chest tightened as he gazed upon his son for the first time in twenty years. Ben had grown tall and lean, with dark hair that fell to his broad shoulders. He had his mother's dark, soulful eyes and his father's cheekbones. Han suspected he'd found the reason for the mask when he found that he could still read his son's face like an open book.

 _If you see our son, bring him home._

He'd certainly found their son.

"Your son is gone," Ben bit out, as if he'd heard Han's thoughts. Han wouldn't have been surprised; Ben _had_ been trained to use the Force. "He was weak and foolish like his father, so I destroyed him."

Han kept walking, determined to follow Leia's instructions. He ignored the voices in his head that taunted him, berating him for running away when his family needed him most, mocking him for having raised a beautiful son that turned into the creature that stood before him. "That's what Snoke wants you to believe," he tried. The voices quieted a little. "But it's not true. My son is alive."

"No." Ben didn't move. His right eye twitched. He was enraged. "The Supreme Leader is wise."

"Snoke is using you for your power," Han pressed. He stopped about two feet from Ben, watching his son closely. The younger man did not reach for Han's neck, nor did his gloved hand reach for his lightsaber. "When he gets what he wants, he'll crush you."

Ben hesitated, and Han saw his face tighten. His stomach dropped when he realized that his son had known this for some time; his arms ached to gather Ben in his embrace as he had when Ben was a little boy.

At last, Ben spoke. "It's too late."

Han's vision became blurry as he watched pools of water gather in Ben's eyes. "No, it's not," he replied, grabbing Ben's arms. "Leave here with me. Come home."

Ben looked down and swallowed hard. Han resisted the urge to throw his arms around the taller man. "We miss you."

And for one moment, one brief and shining moment, it seemed as though Ben would respond to his father's plea. Surely he remembered the trip in the _Falcon,_ and the efforts his mother made to come home from Senate meetings in time to kiss her son good night.

Surely he remembered the love his family held for him.

"I'm being torn apart," he finally murmured, his breaths shallow. The shield Ben had built around himself crumbled, and he stood before his father vulnerable and damaged. "I want to be free of this pain."

Out of the corner of his eye, Han saw Ben's hand reach for his lightsaber, but he made no move to stop his son as he continued speaking. "I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it." He looked up. "Will you help me?"

No questions. No details. No backup. "Yes. Anything."

Ben slowly exhaled and removed the lightsaber from his belt. Han's mind was racing as his son held the weapon out to him. He would have to explain to Finn and Rey what was happening, and he would have to get Ben out of Starkiller Base without getting either of them shot.

He didn't care. Leia's happiness and Han's own joy at having his son back would more than make up for the hassle.

Without thinking, Han grabbed the saber. Too late, he saw Ben's finger move.

And a white-hot pain shot through Han's chest as the red blade stabbed him.

Chaos ensued. Han could feel the stares of his three companions on the back of his head. Chewbacca's howl echoed off the high metal enclosure, and Rey's screech pierced his ears. Ben drove the blade further into Han's gut, and Han swore he saw Ben's face morph into the bloodthirsty face of Kylo Ren.

The tears had disappeared. The emotion and the guilt had vanished. "Thank you," the dark knight said casually, as if he were discussing the weather. With a flick of his hand, the blade was ripped from Han's chest.

It didn't matter what deed had just been done, or what atrocity had just been committed. Han reached up to touch Ben's face, grateful that he had been able to see his son one last time.

He was getting old anyway. Better to die a quick death than a long and painful one.

The sight of Ben turned to darkness, and Han felt himself falling.

His last thought was a rather humorous one. _Wonder if I'll see the guy from Echo Base._

* * *

 **In honor of Han Solo, 29 BBY to 34 ABY.  
**

 **So Kylo's redemption arc better be good to make up for that scene. I choose to believe Rey thought ahead, put a trampoline at the bottom of that chasm, and saved Han Solo's life.**

 **If you liked it, hated it, or wanted to light it up and watch it burn, review and let me know! Thanks so much for reading, and may the Force be with you always!**


End file.
